very, very extraordinary

In this month of pink and glitter and hearts, one can't help but be bombarded by love. It's a pretty great month I think. Consumerism and hallmark holiday aside, love is a cool thing to celebrate. These are the things I have realized about love and me now that I have fallen in it.

1. All love songs seem to be written about, for, because of my relationship. Or I suppose it just feels that way. When Daniel and I first started dating I made a playlist compiling all the love songs I had. It's the best. I have to say, I've always been down for a corny oldie love song. But damn son, I have never enjoyed them this much. Case in point: my current Stevie Wonder obsession.

2. I require a lot of alone time. This is perhaps the hardest part of the whole l word situation. Lucky me though, finding a guy who understands that my penchant for solitude has nothing to do with a lack of affection for him.

3. I've never been more interested in other people's relationships. I am generally a very nosy person. And now I've taken it to a new level. I want to know everything. I think it is fascinating to know how people met, what they love about what another, what's most difficult for them, what makes it work for them.

4. Even with aforementioned nosiness I realize, no one can truly understand a relationship unless you're in it. One benefit that has stemmed from this knowledge is my attempts to step away from judging my friend's relationships (seriously harder said than done). True, I may never understand why or how they believe their relationship is beneficial to their lives, but I don't have to. It's not mine.

5. Uncertain futures are okay. I'm a planner by nature and not knowing where I am going to be in a year is somewhat unsettling. On my better days, however, I believe it to be quite exciting, too.

6. Other couples don't bug me anymore. Yeah I'll admit it. I spent almost twenty one years being an annoyed third wheel. It's not even that the situation made me feel bad. Even without romantic love, I have a life full of love from all around. It's the fact the others felt bad for me (the pitying looks, the thinly veiled lesbian commentary from some family), that shit was almost too much to handle. It was enough to create a little resentment towards the coupled ones. Honestly, you would too if you had to hear my Grandma talk about catching a rich man or getting my M.R.S. degree one more time.

7. The first wrong thing I ever did in this relationship was to compare it to other people's. It made for a wary, wondering, nervous couple of months. Then my friend Kensey told me to stop. I suppose any other person who's ever been in a relationship before (aka, not me) would have said the same thing. But Kensey was the first person I asked, and as usual in her Kensey way, made it all feel so obvious and possible. And that's when it got good, after those wobbly months, it got really good.

8. Dreams get crazier. I don't know if it's excess of emotion that's doing it or what, but my dreams (which in regularly scheduled life are undoubtedly bizarre) are beyond out of the ordinary now. There was the steady slew of pregnancy dreams, then came the devastating break up dream, last night I was of course dating, simultaneously, Ricky from The Secret Life of the American Teenager and Fiyedka from Fiddler on the Roof.

9. The stereotypical stuff (at least some) is totally real. I have legitimately found myself writing our names on the margins of my notes in class. It would be embarrassing if I wasn't smiling so much while doing it.

10. The day to day stuff is the funnest. The little things that make me say to myself, oh yeah, that's why.